Your Gravity: Part Three Read online

  “Tell me.”

  “He started drinking again.”

  “Oh no.” I thought back to the night when he’d told me he was convinced that he was like his father.

  “I know what you’re thinking and don’t go there. This was not something you could’ve controlled. He started drinking the day Mom died. When I found him passed out in the living room, it scared the hell out of me and he didn’t drink again until he moved back here. And this was before he saw you.”

  “Why did he come back here?”

  “I don’t know. It was like something was pulling him here. He couldn’t explain it. I thought that maybe if he came back here he could face his past and maybe let it go. And then he saw you. By the way, I’m sorry for getting all up in your face. I thought you were after his money. He’s had a lot of gold diggers after him since he made the national news with his latest patent. I was protecting him. I thought you were making him worse.”

  “I am.”

  “Ugh! You’re just like Jax. Don’t you listen? What happened is no one’s fault. Besides, I think this Ferilli situation was what put him over the edge.”

  “So, it is true.” In a flash, blood rushed through my body and headed straight for my fist.

  “Yes, and I’m handling it. And as much as I’d rather see you look like you’re about to rip someone’s head off than sobbing, you need to stay focused. I’ll take care of this Gianna chick. You work on convincing Jax who you are and setting him straight. Let’s go.”

  She pulled me up to my feet. Then looking me straight in the eye, she said, “Jax may be a man of science, but deep inside he’s still the same boy you fell in love with. He just needs to remember how to love again.”

  Chapter Seven

  “Oh my god! It’s the carnival!” Caroline squealed as she drove passed the mall parking lot. “I can’t believe it’s still here.”

  From a distance, I caught a peek of Madame Zahra’s tent. Part of me wanted to find her and tell her what had happened, how I went back in time and met her mother, Madame Zarina. I almost told Caroline to turn the car around, but something inside of me told me to keep going. For some reason, I kept hearing Madame Zarina’s voice telling me to fight the chains of uncertainty and to go home.

  “My aunt, Rainbow, says it comes by every fall. I can’t wait for her to meet you,” I said, gazing at the rearview mirror as the carnival disappeared.

  “Remember stinky feet?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

  “You bet! It feels like yesterday.” I winked. There was something about being with her that made me feel everything was going to work out.

  “He kept it, you know. The photo. He carries it in his wallet.”

  A lump formed in my throat. That was what he had been staring at during the first day of class. I’d kept the photo under my pillow. Somehow he found it. My heart smiled knowing that over all the years, in some way, I’d never left his side.

  When we slowly drove over the bridge, I couldn’t take my eyes off the orange construction cones that lined the gap left by the missing guardrail. Strange how Charlie had first met me on this bridge. It was like I knew that the bridge would be my end. Even the first time I’d driven across it with Greg, my subconscious mind had warned me. I’d been sucked into the vortex in 1984, tearing me away from Jax and Caroline. The damage was done. It was over.

  So why couldn’t I shake off the sudden cold that pressed against my chest we crossed it?

  Shaking my head, I kept my attention focused on Caroline’s excited voice.

  “Ooh, maybe we can convince Jax to go to the carnival with us. That’ll cheer him up,” she said.

  “It might be long gone by the time I convince him,” I mumbled.

  “I’ll call him as soon as we park the car.” She swept a black strand of hair behind her ear.

  “Why did you color your hair? It’s such a pretty color.”

  “Not you too. Jax said the same thing. He hates it. I want to be taken seriously. How many power lawyers do you know with strawberry blond hair and freckles? If you want to play with the big dogs, you need serious hair.” She stopped the car and dug into a purse, pulling out a cellphone. “Okay, we’re here.”

  I stared at the familiar small white cottage. A big oak tree stood in the immaculate front yard. I passed this house every day on my way to town. Rainbow’s house was only three blocks down the road.

  Three blocks!

  “That’s Jax’s house?” I asked as I opened the door and stepped out of the car. I imagined him living in one of the new fancy condos near campus or in a gated subdivision where all the faculty resided.

  “Yep, I think he wanted to be close to the memory of you. He told me about taking you home the other night—oh, crap! He wants to talk now.” Caroline peered at a text message on her phone.

  “Jax?”

  “No, one of my law professors. He’s helping me with the Ferilli situation. I have to go back to my hotel room. I left my notes there.”

  “Wait!” I cried when she reached over, shut my door, and started the car. “You’re not coming with me? What if he’s not home?”

  She rolled down the window and smiled. “He’s there. I see his Mercedes in the garage. You’ll do fine. He loves you. You love him. Just tell him the truth. I know he’ll believe you.”

  Heart pounding wildly, I stood frozen in the spot where Caroline had left me, staring at Jax’s cottage. This was it. Jax was on the other side of the door. All I had to do was knock.

  So why wasn’t I moving?

  Move!

  Taking a deep breath, I marched to the door and knocked.

  There was no answer. I peeked through the windows. It was dark. I glanced over at the car sitting in the open garage. He was inside, and I wasn’t about to leave.

  “Jax!” I pounded on the door. “Professor Cooper.”

  Still no answer.

  I walked around the house and spotted a stone path that led to the back. Maybe he was in the backyard and couldn’t hear me. When I reached the back, my heart fell at the sight of a worn out patio table and chair littered with beer bottles.

  I went to the back door and banged on it. “Jax!”

  Nothing.

  I glanced around and saw a slightly opened window.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I mumbled when I tugged on the screen. The stupid thing wouldn’t budge.

  I huffed, frustrated. I wasn’t going to let a stupid chunk of metal wires get in the way of my getting to Jax. He could be hurt or sick in there. Or maybe he was just being stubborn. Whatever! I was getting in there.

  I took hold of the screen and gave it a yank. As I fell back, I heard a loud rip followed by a crunch.

  Aww, crap!

  I gazed at the broken screen in my hands then tossed it to the side, hoping Jax wouldn’t be too mad about it.

  I lifted the window and it thankfully slid up with ease. Lifting myself, I crawled in, careful not to break anything else.

  Something furry skittered over my hand. I yelped, jerking my hand off the windowsill. Losing my balance, I ungracefully rolled over the kitchen sink and smashed to the floor, taking at least a dozen pots and pans with me.

  I expected to hear Jax growling in that professor voice of his if he wasn’t already on the phone calling the cops. Instead, there was silence.

  I tried to clean up by placing the pots and pans back in the sink, but there was nowhere to put them. The counter was littered with dirty dishes. It was a mess. The living room was worse. Bottles of vodka, beer, and pizza boxes littered the floor and coffee table. Something that looked like spaghetti hung from the ceiling fan blade whirling around.

  Beneath the fan, lying on the sofa, was Jax with an empty bottle on his bare chest.

  I sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was almost unrecognizable as the heartbreakingly handsome professor I’d met on the first day of class. His scruff had grown impossibly thicker. His brown hair, darkened by sweat, clung to
his forehead. Pizza stained pajama pants hung low on his waist.

  This wasn’t the boy I’d held in my arms only a couple of days ago. This was a man, a man who was lost.

  “Jax,” I said softly as I took the bottle out of his hand and placed it on the coffee table. “Jax, wake up.”

  He moaned. His breath was thick with alcohol.

  “Jax!” I shook his shoulder.

  Slowly, thick lashes lifted until bleary eyes looked into mine. I gazed into pools of blue that I had once thought belonged to a cold professor. Now I knew they belonged to the love of my life.

  Jax blinked with disbelief as he sat motionless. My fingers brushed tenderly over his rough cheek as I watched the boy inside the man emerge.

  “Nicole.” His voice was hoarse. “You’re here.”

  “Yes, and I’m never leaving you again.” I placed his arm over my shoulder.

  “Is it really you?” His words slurred as he stood.

  I braced myself under his heavy weight, steadying him as he swayed. I half dragged him down the hall, hoping that I didn’t trip over the bottles that littered the floor.

  “Yes, it’s me. There’s a lot I have to tell you, but we need to get your head cleared first.”

  He buried his head in my hair and inhaled. “It is you. You came back. I thought I was going crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy.” I flipped on the bathroom light and headed for the shower. Thank god it was a walk in.

  I turned on the shower, laid my cellphone on the vanity, and stepped under the warm water.

  “What are you doing?” He asked when I pulled him to me.

  “I’m helping you. Now get in.”

  Without a word, he stumbled in, his eyes never leaving my face. The water hit against his hair and rolled down his handsome face, kissing his skin. Mesmerized, I watched water droplets travel down the contours of the peaks and valleys of his chest and to the “V” of his abdomen, disappearing into his pants.

  Gently, I placed my hands on his chest, supporting him as he swayed. He was different, older. There were light lines around his eyes. His shoulders were broader, and his neck was thicker. The beautiful boy had grown into a devastatingly handsome man. I swallowed thickly at the thought of missing every part of his life and prayed that I wouldn’t miss any more of it.

  I spotted a razor and shaving cream on a nearby shelf and quickly reached for them. I wanted so much to go back to the time when Jax was young and carefree, to see his flirty smile, and feel his smooth cheek against mine.

  With a fluff of white foam in my palm, I lifted my hand to his cheek. He gripped my hand before I could touch his face. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because I love you.”

  He ducked his head. “It’s not you. It can’t be you. It’s not possible.”

  Placing a finger underneath his chin, I lifted it up until his disbelieving eyes met mine. “It is. And I love you.”

  In a daze, his eyes stayed locked with mine as I lathered his face. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as he watched me. I felt like I was in a dream just being near him, touching him. I didn’t want the magic of him to end. I wanted to hold onto it forever.

  Taking hold of the razor, I slid it lightly down his cheek. I nudged him with my fingertips. Obediently, he tilted his head as I ran the razor over his cheek again. When I reached the other side of his face, I couldn’t get a good angle, so I leaned in closer, pressing myself against his chest.

  His breathing grew faster, and I could feel his heart pounding against his chest. When he placed his thick hands around my waist, I bit down on my lip, trying to keep my hand steady. Unable to resist, I leaned in and lightly grazed my lips over his, just a gentle flutter. I didn’t know if he’d push me away. His lips parted slightly and I wondered if he thought I was drunken hallucination. But then his tongue licked out and traced the seam of my lips, and I moaned softly before pulling away. He was too easy to get wrapped up in, and I needed him sober.

  I tilted his head the other way and continued to reveal Jax’s handsome face. With each stroke of the razor, his hands held on to me tighter as if he thought I might disappear.

  When I was finally done, I wiped the remaining shaving cream with a damp cloth, and nuzzled into the curve of his neck, reveling in the scent of his shaving foam, of him. This was him. My Jax. The boy I’d fallen hopelessly in love with.

  My fingers traced his lips and my breathing grew frantic as he dipped his head. Slowly, his lips drifted to mine again. My lips parted, waiting for his.

  “No, we can’t do this.” His voice rumbled deep within his chest. His eyes flicked up to mine. The wall that Cooper erected whenever I was near him was back in place, and my Jax was gone. Gently, he pushed me away from him and walked out of the shower.

  “Jax, please don’t—”

  “Why are you calling me that?” He snatched a towel and tossed it to me.

  “Because that’s your name.”

  “It’s a game. It’s not real,” he mumbled to himself as he took another towel and walked out of the room.

  “It is real.” I ran down the hall after him. “When I first met you, I told you my name was Nicole Applewood.”

  “That’s enough, Ms. Ashford. Kindly let yourself out, and I won’t turn you in to the student conduct office.”

  “Please, Jax, let me explain. I’m the Nicole Applewood you met in 1984. It’s really me. Caroline brought me here.”

  He spun around, his face in a rage. “Leave my sister out of this.”

  “I love Caroline. I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

  “I won’t listen to any more of your lies.” He marched to the front door and flung it open. “Get out. Now!”

  “I know you think this is some elaborate scheme. Caroline told me you thought my mother was Nicole Applewood and that she sent me here to go after your money. But you know that’s not true. You’ve seen what my real mother looks like, haven’t you?”

  Gritting his teeth, his smooth jaw jutted. His eyes darted from me then to the open door as if deciding whether to let me stay or shove me out of it.

  “Fine. So I was mistaken about your mother. Regardless, there’s no way you could be my Nicole. She’d be about my age, and you’re only twenty.”

  “Twenty-one, and it is possible. I went back in time, and I met you, and we fell in love. I was brought back here to Texas State and so were you. Somehow you knew I’d come back. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

  “I don’t know why I came back. It’s a mistake I’ll soon rectify,” he growled. “Don’t take me for a fool, Ms. Ashford. Time travel doesn’t exist. It never has and never will.”

  He took hold of my arm, his face twisting the moment he touched me. He felt the electricity of our touch; I just knew it. He was fighting it, and he was winning.

  “Goodbye, Ms. Ashford,” he said as he shoved me out the door. “Leave before I call the police. And if you ever come near my sister, I’ll put a restraining order on you.”

  “I know you want to believe me, Jax. Stop fighting yourself. I know you’re still in there, Jax. Come back to me.”

  There was a flicker behind his sapphire eyes. It quickly vanished, and he slammed the door on my face.

  “You don’t scare me! I promised you I’d be there for you even in your darkest hour, and I meant it. I’m not leaving!” I banged my fists on the door, sobbing as I felt my heart being ripped from its chest.

  The door suddenly swung open. Jax’s astonished face gazed down at me.

  “What did you say?”

  I held onto his eyes, searching for the Jax who I knew would believe me. I’d repeated the vow I’d made to him, praying that it would bring him back to me once again.

  “I love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can show me your dark side, and I’ll still love you. Nothing will ever change that. Even in your darkest hour, I’ll be by your side, loving you.”

  Standing on the middle of his porch, dripping wet and holding
onto a bath towel, I held my breath and waited for his response. His face was a mask hiding his thoughts. I’d gone for broke, and I hoped Caroline was right. He had to believe me.

  Then as if waking from deep sleep, he blinked and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest.

  “Nicole.”

  Chapter Eight

  In one smooth motion, he pulled me inside and slammed the door, pressing me hard against it, kissing me. Ravishing my lips, his tongue swirled inside my mouth, drinking me in as if I was water and he’d been wandering the desert for days. Dropping the bath towel, my hands flew into his damp hair, and I drowned myself in him, his scent, his touch. And even though I’d kissed him a few minutes ago, it felt like I was kissing him for the very first time.

  My body cried out for him, wanting, needing his love. I’d been so close to losing his love again. I held onto him tightly, afraid to let go. Afraid if I did, I’d go back to the way I was before, empty, wandering alone in a nightmare, searching for the love I’d lost.

  Pulling back, sapphire eyes glistened in wonder. “I don’t understand. How are you here?”

  I drew him back to me, kissing his lips, his cheeks, and his eyelids as I answered. “I don’t know. After you left me Saturday night, I drank a bottle of wine and accidentally ate some of Penny’s food and—”

  “You ate chicken food?” His lip quivered and he broke into a smile.

  My breath hitched. That smile was undeniably Jax. It was as if time hadn’t passed at all.

  I kissed him deeply. Caroline was right. Jax was still there underneath that hardened exterior. Even the way he spoke was different. It was more real. It was Jax.

  “It’s a long story. Anyway, when I woke up. I was in my room with Culture Club posters. Seriously, Boy George was watching me sleep. And there was a rotary phone.”

  “Oh, the horror.” His dimple flashed.

  I laughed. It felt good to see his face light up like that.

  “Don’t tease. I thought I was going crazy. Charlie was there, acting like she’d always known me. Did you know she found me on the edge of the bridge? She just picked me up and brought me to her house like a lost puppy.”